Looking for that perfect partner? Dating services use lengthy questionnaires to try and match people with similar values and interests, but then there’s the old saying “opposites attract.” What works best? Probably a bit of both.
How would you rate the chances for this couple:
He just scraped by in school, with mediocre grades but wonderful athletic ability. She’d been teacher’s pet from first grade, always getting top grades in school. He traveled the world because of his father’s military career, learning to fit in wherever he went. She lived her whole life in the same city, and never had an opportunity to travel farther than just a few states for a brief vacation. He partied hard in high school with his buddies, drinking and smoking, and dating every female around. Since he looked older than his years, he even dated adult women while he was in school. She was a bookworm, didn’t even drink coffee, much less a beer, and never tried even a normal cigarette. She had a circle of close friends, but did very little dating. His focus was on having a good time, but without specific future goals. She was determined to finish college and achieve her dream of being a veterinarian.
Nothing in common? Not a thing, but when they met in July at 19 and 17 years of age the attraction was instant. They were engaged in September, and married the following March. Too young, nothing in common, a recipe for disaster?
Logic says yes, but after 49 years, they’re — okay, we, my husband and I — are still together, and still in love. Still opposites, he likes it cold in the house and I like it warm, he always hogs the remote control, he’s a steak and potatoes man while I’m a vegan, now he’s the stay at home guy while I’m always with people. The list of our differences is long, but the glue that holds us together is still there.
Opposites do attract, but opposition adds spice to a relationship, and keeps you from getting stale. Being opposites can also be frustrating. How can a relationship of opposites thrive and last? For us it’s an easy formula. Long lasting love comes from years of shared memories, from respecting one another, from being best friends and staunchest supporters. We took our vows seriously, and followed my personal advice for all newlyweds, “Divorce never, murder maybe!”
PS, if you like my writing style and would like to read more about our shared experiences, you’ll enjoy my memoir, “From Hindsight to Insight, A Traditional to Metaphysical Memoir“